When you have a loved one who is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, or you suspect that they are addicted, you need to figure out how you can help. One thing that is definitely worth considering is rehab. You might be wondering if the timing is right to bring it up. The truth is that there’s no perfect time to discuss these matters, but you need to make sure you’re prepared when the time comes. This is when you know it’s time to talk to your loved one about drug and alcohol rehab.

1. Their addiction is affecting their day-to-day life

People who are struggling with drugs and alcohol will often try their best to make it seem like nothing is wrong. However, when you’ve known someone for long enough, you learn how to tell when they’re trying to fool you. If your loved one is neglecting responsibilities or not being as conversational as they used to be, you would be right to suspect that they’re struggling with addiction. This needs to be addressed as soon as possible, as enabling their addiction could lead to even further problems, such as loss of a job or severe financial stress. If this has already occurred, then the time to discuss treatment is long overdue.

2. Their addiction is changing who they are

Drugs and alcohol can change a person in numerous ways, both in terms of physical appearance as well as personality. People who are addicted can become withdrawn, antisocial, and start lashing out. When you try to confront them about it, they may gaslight you and act as though you are the one who is really to blame. The person you love is still there, but they are being held hostage by the monster that is addiction. You need to intervene as soon as possible in order to prevent things from becoming even worse.

3. They refuse to be open with you

Loving someone means being willing to be vulnerable around them. Your loved one may feel so shameful about their addiction that they don’t even want to talk about it. The more they keep this matter to themselves, the more trouble they’re going to have. You need to lay down the law and tell them that the consequences for not talking about matters they affect both of you can be dire.

4. They’re in denial

The signs of addiction are not too hard to find. But your loved one might deny that they’re even using any substances, let alone that they’re addicted. They might try to point to examples of constructive things that they’ve been doing to dispel the idea that they’re an addict. They might also try to tell you that they have things under control in order to get you off their back. This might work at first, but it will quickly backfire when they have to keep making up lies.

5. They become desperate

When your loved one believes that their addiction has reached its nadir, it’s time for them to get help. Ideally, they’ll accept going to rehab before reaching this low point. They may or may not tell you in their own words that they want to go to rehab. Instead, they might say that they feel like giving up. In reality, this is them admitting that they need help but that they might be too proud to admit it. Should this happen, you don’t want to say anything like “I told you so.” You need to sit down with them and discuss what exactly should be done. Even if going to rehab is not initially their idea, you can still give them a feeling of control by allowing them to determine the circumstances that they prefer, such as inpatient or outpatient rehab. Consulting with facilities about your loved one’s condition will help to determine the best course of action.

When you have even an inkling that you should talk to your loved one about drug and alcohol, bring it up. You don’t want to waffle on this greatly important decision. By taking the time to discuss this, you can show to your loved one just how much you value them and want the best for them.