Dealing with the most powerful, gripping illness of addiction can leave one without hope or the energy to keep fighting. Getting sober is the easy part, anyone can check themselves into a detox and come out five or six days later and be “sober.” My whole life I struggled to find my inner peace. Society has this idea that drugs and alcohol are the problem but in reality it was my solution! The selfishness, self-centered attitude, and the disconnection as a whole was my problem. Dealing with everyday responsibilities is almost an unattainable goal for someone without a solution in their life trying to recover. I needed to find a power that would exceed my own to fully embrace my recovery and relieve me of my obsession to get high.
When I say that getting sober is the easy part I don’t necessarily mean that it comes without doing the work. Getting sober means I took care of my physical craving or compulsion to drink or get high by removing myself from the substance. But how do I stay sober? Our real problem centers in our mind! I can’t think my way through the drink because I can’t think with a rational point of view when it comes to drugs and alcohol. From an outsiders point of view I actually look insane when I walk out of treatment and continue to use the same substance that put me in there in the first place. It got to the point where I was physically using against my own will knowing exactly what the results were going to be. Some people find recovery through the 12 steps, some find it through helping others or attending meetings, and some people have a negative consequence or experience that happens as a result of their using that allows them to stop or moderate all together. This wasn’t the case for me.
As someone who relapsed many times in the 12 step process I needed to find a way to have a new experience with the work I was doing. I read spiritual books, researched different meditations and prayers online, and really forced myself to get uncomfortable. As an addict I always wanted to be comfortable, I had an obsession with feeling good at all times at the expense of everyone else around me. Sounds pretty selfish if you ask me. Believing in God or a “higher” power was out of the question because I never allowed myself to become spiritually connected. My behaviors and character defects did the exact opposite and kept me disconnected, severing any chance of building a relationship with a conception of my own understanding. Expanding my spirituality has opened my mind to many new experiences that I never thought were possible. I always tell the newcomer to have a blank canvas and to let their own journey and experiences paint the picture of what their conception of God or higher power will look like and mean to them. It was not until I became spiritually fit and spiritually connected that I found my true purpose in life to always keep my head held high, be proud of who I am, and to give everyday my best when trying to help someone else. Woburn Wellness lends their hand to those in need trying to obtain a connection with their innermost selves.
